Funny Jokes Ally Web DirectoryPremium Web Directory
img leftimg div
img divimg right
Wordpress Themes PHPLB Themes PHPLD Themes Site-Sift Themes
Celebrities Biographies Latest Gadgets Funny Jokes Automobile Reviews

Church Men Got A Message For You

Posted On July 5th, 2016 By Funny Jokes

Two church members were going door-to-door through the neighborhood and they finally arrived at Mrs. Smith’s house.

She was not pleased to see them. She snubbed them with an attitude that made it clear she had no time to waste on them or their religious messages.

So she banged the door in their faces. However, to her astonishment, the door sprung back open. She caught it, slammed it again, but the same thing happened!

Swayed that the man must be sticking his foot in the entranceway, she reared back the door to slam it hard enough to teach him a lesson, when he cried,

“Ma’am, before you do that again, you really should move your cat!”


Woman Lies For A Good Reason

Posted On May 22nd, 2008 By Funny Jokes

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “My dear child, why are you crying?”

The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.

The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with pearls. “Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked.

The seamstress replied, “No.”

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble ringed with sapphires. “Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked.

Again, the seamstress replied, “No.”

The Lord reached down again and came up with a simple leather thimble. “Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked.

The seamstress replied, “Yes.”

The Lord was pleased with the woman’s honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When the seamstress cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, “Why are you crying?”

“Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!”

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. “Is this your husband?” the Lord asked.

“Yes!” cried the seamstress.

The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is an untruth!”

The seamstress replied, “Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt. Then if I said ‘no’ to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three. Lord, I’m not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT’S why I said ‘yes’ to George Clooney.

And so the Lord let her keep him.

The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it’s for a good and honorable reason, and is always in the best interest of others. That’s our story, and we’re sticking to it.

Signed, All Us Women


Bookmark Us Now


Categories Blogroll Meta