Ally Web Directory: Free Articles » Family » Divorce and House Rules: Need for Consistency

Post-divorce, it is of utmost importance that both the parents share the same views on adopting disciplinary rules and actions in child upbringing. If this is not the case, you may have to face dire consequences and your child might rot even at a very young age. This is no joke and I am serious about whatever I state. <br><br>House Rules: A Case Study <br>Let us take the example of what happened to Elizabeth after her divorce. Elizabeth and John had divorced last year citing irreconcilable differences between them. Elizabeth was awarded the status of custodial parent. The court had ordered for Sandy to visit John on weekends and on holidays. Things went on smoothly for about six months when suddenly there were new twists and turns that were added to the story. Keep reading lest you want it to happen in your own lives. It was a Friday morning. It was past 8:30 AM. School was to commence at 9:30 AM and Sandy was still in her bed. Elizabeth, who just returned from her morning ablutions, was furious to see Sandy still in bed. She pulled Sandy out of bed and pushed her into the bathroom. Sandy, in turn, got violent over this and said, “Dad does not behave like you. He is more considerate and allows me to sleep till late in the morning. You are so cruel and I hate you for this. How I wish I could have gone with dad once and for all and don’t get to see you again”. These words of Sandy rocked the world within Elizabeth. She was now being portrayed as a bad parent for trying to enforce good disciplinary values in her child while the other parent got away with all the accolades. This is one such incident that emphasises on the importance of having consistent house rules in both the houses of the divorced parents. This needs to be done to ensure a couple of things:

• One of the prime reasons to ensure the same and strict house rules in both the houses is to convey the message across to the child that though the parents have split there is not going to be any change in their lifestyles. Ensuring this helps lessen the impact of divorce on the child.
• Another reason for ensuring consistency in house rules is to tell the child that both the parents share the same views when it comes to leading a disciplined life. This conveys a message across to the child that both the parents, despite the split, are still concerned about their future and well-being.

Consistent House Rules: The Last Word <br>It is quite customary for parents to adopt a lenient role in order to avoid upsetting children. For example, you might not want to ask children to clean up the home on a holiday against their wishes of playing video games. However, the moment you allow this leniency to set in, be assured that it would be the last time that they would be listening to you. Never mind to don the role of the bad cop while enforcing discipline in children. Post-divorce, the key to ensuring discipline in your children is to be consistent at both ends, so that your kids will know that both the parents mean business and not be confused. It is, therefore, not easy for them to play different roles across both the homes. All this needs a little bit of strategic planning from both your end and as well from your ex. Both of you might need to sit across a table and chalk out a clear plan on how you would like to bring up your child, the kind of discipline that you would like to enforce in them and, above all, on how you would like to implement the plan. Both of you need to be convinced that there cannot be two opinions about discipline and that both of you would strictly adhere to the framework.