Ally Web Directory: Free Articles » Family » Infidelity by Women: A Gender Bender

 

 

Though the numbers suggest that only two (almost) out of four women are cheating on their husbands, the numbers also foretell that infidelity by women is on the increase. Women being less forthcoming about their highly secretive affairs has only increased the probability that female infidelity may surpass the percentage of male infidelity.

 

Can the concept of marriage survive, when in more than 60% of marriages are witness to the fact that one spouse in every married couple is definitely having an extramarital affair? The new generation is in a tearing hurry to throw off the perceived shackles imposed by established social norms.

 

However, infidelity committed by women has not been treated by society in the same tolerant manner as towards male infidelity. Even in this day and age, certain cultures and religions deal with female infidelity, in the most cruel fashion.

 

The law of Manu, the ancient and first-documented law-giver of India, documented in the ‘Manusmriti’ that even if the husband sought pleasure elsewhere, it was the duty of the wife to worship him. On the other hand, if the wife failed in her ‘duty’ (which included, fall in her ‘virtues’), she was to be devoured by dogs! The ancient Greek and Roman laws allowed husbands to keep unmarried women as concubines and mistresses (The wives were child-begetting machines). Most of the time, the slanderous term of ‘adultery’ was used to describe female infidelity. The woman was punished by maiming parts of her body, public stripping and humiliation or stoning her to death.

 

Infidelity by women is proliferating due to the primary reason that more husbands are busily engaged in keeping the home fires burning, but pay scarce attention to the demanding emotional fires within their marriage. Women prefer to have their emotional needs like love, companionship, happiness etc. fulfilled, rather than giving primary importance to monetary gains or physical enjoyment. The husband, however, is not given to publicly displaying his emotions, because he is just not built that way. The ‘9 to 5’ work routine gets replaced by the ‘8 to whenever’ routine because he feels that money can substitute for his presence or affection.

 

There are telltale marks of an unfamiliar colour of lipstick on his handkerchief. A warning bell goes off in your mind. Then on another day, you detect the faint smell of an unfamiliar perfume on his shirt sleeve. Warning bells begin their toll. He is keeping late nights frequently and he does not let you attend to his ringing cell phone. ‘Dammit, he’s seeing someone else, after all the pains I have taken, to make him happy’. This can lead to an overpowering mental call for paying him back in the same coin or pouring out her woes to another male, who she feels is trustworthy. The end result is the same -- female infidelity.

 

Women, who are used to a carefree childhood, doting parents or unfettered freedom, in their growing years require a longer period for adjusting themselves to a male-dominated marriage. A husband who keeps imposing conditions or makes it his business to poke his nose into all and sundry or is excessively possessive of his wife or abuses her verbally / physically, makes it very difficult for the lady of the house to settle down in her new role. Her notions of a romantic, loving husband, caring father to the children, a protector and a provider are shattered. She seeks an escape from the shredded dream and the oppressive marriage.

 

Though an unsatisfactory love life can also cause a feeling of dissatisfaction in the mind of the married woman, it is one of the least disturbing factors for female infidelity. However, husbands ignore the other side of this coin, unaware that by ignoring physical demands, it sends an indirect message that she is not as physically desirable as before. That insult can actively aid female infidelity. (When a whole lot of billion dollar companies out there are actively marketing cosmetic products to make her look like a female goddess, only sheer blind husbands can ignore her beauty and get away with it!).

 

So, husbands of the world beware, the day is not far off when marriage would mean locking up your wife and the house, when you leave home!