Ally Web Directory: Free Articles » Family » Life After Divorce

 

Divorce refers to untying of the marital relationship and legal separation of husband and wife on a permanent basis. It means an official, absolute and final end of their marriage. This is a terrible and emotionally devastating event that nobody wants to face in their life. However, due to unavoidable reasons or circumstances, many people are forced to file for divorce every year.

 

Some of the major causes behind divorce are physical or emotional abuse, alcoholism and substance abuse, infertility, financial problems, infidelity and general boredom with each other. Other behavioural problems responsible for the marital break-up include an extremely individualistic and selfish attitude, lack of mutual respect and concern among the partners, control-freak nature and sarcastic behaviour of a spouse.

 

In such situations where you find that there are no chances of any change occurring in your partner’s behaviour even after many years and when the marital relationship becomes very claustrophobic, it is better for you to end the relationship by opting for divorce and move on with your life to make a fresh start.

 

Breaking up of a marital relationship takes a huge toll on both the partners emotionally, financially and physically because it is a very painful process that leaves them under a lot of stress, anxiety and depression. After divorce, the family assets are divided by the court between you and your spouse. You have to live separately and take care of your finances and lifestyle expenses on your own. If the woman is not working, then she has to take up a nice paying job which will enable her to take care of her finances and children. The man has to pay maintenance to the mother for the upkeep of the kids.

 

Emotionally you find it difficult to come to terms with the fact that you are no longer together with your partner and have to live a lonely life all on your own. You also get a feeling of betrayal, anger, revenge, self-pity, confusion and rejection after your marital separation.

 

The best way to tackle these feelings is to accept the reality and come to terms with it. Do not try to live in the past. Do not blame yourself for the situation. Instead, think of improving your present and future life. You should make some new friends who are in a similar predicament as you and discuss and share with them your emotional problems. This will be of great help because of its cathartic effect. Such people will understand you better as they have also gone through the same phase and will help you in your emotional recovery from your divorce.

 

Divorce can actually be a liberating experience after struggling for so many years with tension, anxiety and a sense of helplessness in an abusive and caustic marital relationship. After separation, you are a free bird again and can afford to live your life like you always wanted to and pursue your personal hobbies and interests.

 

Life after divorce can be very hectic as you have to run in all directions and you know you are alone and cannot depend on anybody. You need to prioritise things. If your children are young, then you need a full time baby-sitter or crèche to look after them when you are out whole day at office. It is better for you to live in a locality which is near to the house of your parents, relatives or friends so that you can reach out to them in case of any help. Also, try to join a single-parent group. This will lighten your burden immensely.

 

Life as a single mother can be quite tiring and exhausting. After coming home from work, you get busy in cooking dinner and taking care of laundry and other household work. You have to help your kids in their school assignments and take them to their hobby classes. On Sunday, you may have to go to the church or some family functions. You find it difficult to have any spare time for yourself. You should try to set aside some leisure time in which you can just relax or watch a movie and read a book. Do not hesitate to ask your friends or family members to look after your kids once a day in a month. This day you should reserve for yourself for socialising and relaxation.