Ally Web Directory: Free Articles » Family » Myths of Divorce or Maligning the Male

The husband may be the root cause for his wife to file the divorce, but he rarely initiates it.

 

He’s mean, abusive, forever critical of whatever I do, insulting, filthy, having an affair, zombie (office...office...money...money all the time), I’m bored, he’s boring, no zing in our love life, she’s having an affair, she wants my money more than me, she’s a bad mother to my children. From these popular reasons for divorce, it can be inferred that men are at fault most of the time. Which self-respecting women would want to put up with these incorrigible faults?

 

The weaker gender is the epitome of motherly love. So around the world, most divorce laws spring to the aid of the mother. Child custody is usually granted to the mother. Surprisingly, where the divorce laws stressed on shared child custody, rather than awarding one parent the exclusive custodial right, the percentage of women initiating the divorce, was very low! Forget the fact that she is drawing only $200 less than him, the divorce laws just do not hesitate in awarding maintenance to the woman. When the divorce laws are loaded against the men, from the start, who’s thinking of divorce? Surely, not the men-folk!

 

Who would want to rock the steady boat? Peaceful and clean surroundings, good homely food, physical intimacy on demand, proud father of a brat pack, faithful wife awaiting his return home and his power over the destiny of the family. Who’s complaining? Which man would want to throw away all these goodies, by initiating a divorce? Men silently work around marital problems. Throw some money on expensive gifts, a few strategic lies, maybe. If everything fails, there’s, of course, the office secretary.  

 

‘If a guy is forced to file for divorce, his wife must be a real meanie, man!’

 

Myth or Truth: Women Suffer Financially More than Men, after Divorce.

 

Notwithstanding the divorce settlement, women initially get a raw deal financially, for a short period. However, it is a substantiated truth that, in the long run, divorced men fare badly on the financial front.

 

·          Mostly, it is divorced men who pay for alimony and child support.

 

·          The maintenance is determined as a percentage on the usually higher income of the male partner.

 

·          The financial support continues to an unemployed former wife, even though she may remarry an employed spouse. The thought of remarriage and supporting two families can reduce the strongest of men to nervous financial wrecks.

 

·          Divorced men are unable to hold their jobs, because of less social support and their preference to endure divorce, in silence.

 

·          Only 10 to 15% of divorced men obtained better financial settlement than their female counterparts.

 

Sociologist Lenore Weitzman (California) published "The Divorce Revolution" in 1985. The empirical figures used in it indicated that, after divorce, women and children suffered a 73% decline while men gained 42% increase, in their respective living standards. Men were assigned the label of ‘deadbeat dads’. Legislation was adopted throughout America, to correct this ‘grave’ situation. In 1996, she admitted that her gospel truth had a serious error with the algebraic formula used to calculate it. A re-analysis of her figures indicated that at worst, the real decline was not catastrophic as made out, but a manageable 30% for women and 10% for the much-maligned blokes. More importantly, it also concluded that the unequal situation drew level, after some time. The extensive damage caused to divorce laws, by this gospel truth, in the United States is yet to be undone.

 

‘It’s the lawyers that gain, not the divorced man or the divorced woman.’

 

Objective or Prejudiced: Divorce Judgements are Biased in Favour of Women.

 

The Courts lose no time in ordering almost immediate payments of alimony or child support. The man generally does not get child custody. However, the same speed is not witnessed, if a man has child custody.

 

Studies indicate that the number of women millionaires and wealthy women is increasing. Yet the divorce laws do not factor this into the maintenance. The Courts also generally waive child support, if the man is financially independent. The man ends up paying or receives no payment.

 

According to research, many women receive greater monetary benefits after divorce. Surveys show that 60% or more of divorced women obtained better divorce settlements than men.

 

‘You are the best judge of your situation.’